*Please see Amazon Huaorani Tribesmen vs. Fijian Warriors, Mayan Late Classical warriors vs. New Kingdom Egyptian soldiers, Imperator Julius Caesar vs. King Cao Cao of Wei and Dead Space Necromorphs vs. The Fellowship of the Rings before viewing anything below. Warning it contains spoilers.
Alternate ending pack 1: This is just a brief collection of "What-could-have beens" , where the loser in my other blogs wins. For every four blogs I do I will upload another of these. Yes the fights you see are rather short, as the only comprise of the endings to fights and a small "mock" conclusion. Hopefully this will give a little solace to those disappointed by the conclusions I have come to. Enjoy.
Fijian warriors vs. Amazonian Huaorani tribesmen
Now it was the Fijians turn for the offensive. He aimed for an overhand chop that was just barely blocked with the borduna, but that was planned for. He kicked with foot at the Amazons sore legs, causing him to stumble. He then aimed a second blow at the right arm, again blocked but again the chief turned that to his advantage by ramming the Amazon again nearly causing him to fall. The Amazon was fatigued, “just like waves against rocks I am slowly wearing him down, and what an impressive rock this warrior is” thought the chief “not long now at all now”. The chief picked up some dirt in his offhand, saving it for the right moment as he launched a stab, which broke through the club defenses, hitting him in the gut. The Amazon spat up blood, as the chief aimed another hit with the club portion on the Amazon’s right shoulder, dislocating it. Now is the time he thought, and with that he through the dirt in the Huaorani’s face, temporarily blinding his right eye and reflexively bring both hands up to his face. Positioning his foot under the Amazon’s near crippled knees, he finally caused the native to plunge to the ground, and sent the borduna rolling off in a different direction, far out of reach for the now immobile Amazon. Now the chief moved in for a kill.
In those seconds that followed every moved in slow motion for Mincaye. His body ached and he would have accepted fate earlier, had not the memory of his slain villagers pressed him on. Now lying on the ground, half of his body broken, he really just wanted it to end. “NO! He couldn’t give up, he would die fighting!” but even as part of his mind said that, a different part screamed what’s the use there was nothing left for him to fight with, and he was too tired to even consider Haku. In the end exhaustion prevailed. Mincaye exposed his neck to allow death easier access and spread his hands out to signify that he was done.
“OW!” His left arm landed on something very sharp and barbed. Turning his head slightly as the Fijian began his descent to finish him off he saw what could only be an act of divine providence. It was Moipa’s spear! The good spirits had given him his last shot of avenging his tribe. He had to take it and grabbed the spear just below of the tip. The chief too fixated on his neck failed to notice. Moving with the speed of the fastest puma, he grabbed the spear and thrust up as the chief prepared for the finishing blow.
Rokolewasau saw the spear at the last possible moment. His exhausted body just barely managed to dodge the spear thrust, much to the surprise of his opponent, who had put all of his remaining strength into that strike. Mentally praising the spirits for his good fortune, the Fijian slammed his Thali into the Amazons left arm, causing him to drop the spear. With his enemy no incapable of hostile action, Rokolewasau slammed the bladed of his club deep into the forehead of the native, avenging the good men of his that had died here today.
Rokolewasau, with adrenaline still rushing through his body, picked up the native’s discarded blowgun and put it in the drua…as a trophy for winning such a hard-fought battle. Prying his prized Thali from the native’s forehead, the chieftain then boarded the boat. Sparing one more glance at the land that had robbed him of so many of his fine young men, Rokolewasau cast off from it, never to return. The Fijian knew not knew not where the currents would take him, but at the moment he did not care. Anywhere was better than this land. With the adrenaline finally leaving him he lay down to take a long and well deserved nap.
Fijians Win!
Conclusion: While the Amazonians had clear long range superiority as well as poison, when the points were tallied the clubs of the Fijians carried the day for them. Whether it be mid range or close, Fijian clubs bashed in heads, while their long range was also able to hold their own against the natives from the Amazon. It was a close battle, but in the end it is Rokolewasau that sails off to an uncertain future, not Mincaye.
Mayan Late classical Warriors vs. New Kingdom Egyptian soldiers
The first strike stunned him, rocking his dome and leaving him open to a second strike, which the Mayan obliged, aiming for his stomach. That strike hit his scale armor, breaking the obsidian off and causing the Egyptian to stumble back, but failing to pierce. He tried a third blow, but Achenaten was now prepared and blocked the blade with his Sherden sword in his right hand. Remembering Tahtib stick fighting games, he then took advantage of his opponent’s situation, aiming a blow with Khopesh in his other hand at the man’s head. The man pushed him before he could do that, and dropped the club and took out a knife. Again the Tahtib training helped him here, as he was able to remain upright and not fall from the footwork he learned in those sessions. The Mayan strolled forward and with his all strength stabbed underneath the scales, upwards. Involuntarily Achenaten coughed up blood, as the dagger had pierced one of his lungs.
Jaguar Paw now had the advantage. Moving quickly, he ran back –not to get his club, but to get his late comrade’s Atlatl . He quickly loaded a spear, just as the Egyptian pulled out the blade with great agony. Just as his foe looked up, Jaguar Paw let loose his projectile. It penetrated through the scale, and deep into the Egyptian’s chest. Now severely weakened from the blows, Achenaten dropped to his knees, using the last strength available to him to try to pull out the spear.
He heard movement, and looked up just in time to see that his enemy had returned with the giant club.
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Now was the time for Jaguar Paw’s revenge. Offering his foe up to Nacon, the god of war, the Mayan readied his club high above his head. Looking directly into his opponents eyes, he brought it crashing down onto his face, obliterating it forever.
“This land is full of hostiles and terrible desert; our people with never be able to survive here. ” was the conclusion Jaguar Paw came to. Gathering up his obsidian sword and the Atlatl , he prepared for a long march back through the land of no trees, of no grass. It was a warrior’s duty to serve his gods, leaders and people, and they would need to be alerted to what he found here. Jaguar Paw had never skirted from duty before, nor would he now.
Mayan Late Classical Warrior wins
Conclusion: Despite the Egyptians being seemingly superior in so many categories, the Mayan’s razor-sharp obsidian weaponry and bees were able to give him the win. Although bees do not acknowledge any master, skillful Mayans were able to use them to scare away the horse and horrifically mutilate oncoming Egyptians. In the titanic clash between two famed and celebrated ancient cultures, it was the Stargazing Mayans that managed to achieve victory.
Caesar vs. Cao Cao
Julius Caesar caught sight of the Sere leader just as he left his tent, surrounded by his adjundants, bodyguards (instituted after an unsuccessful assignation attempt during the Ides of March) and staff. The two sides stared at each other for a few moments-the officers and elite of each side, before firing what long range missiles they had left at each other. Plumbata and bolts flew through the air, and men on both sides were struck down, as the ruling army hierarchy of both sides charged towards each other, in the climax of an already massive battle. Cao Cao seemed intent on killing Caesar himself, and dodged a tribune’s overhead slash, kicking the back of his open leg and slitting his throat with a dagger. His opposite Caesar was showing that he was not unfamiliar with the way of the sword either, catching a Dao blade between his pugio and gladius and flipping it out of its master’s hand, before delivering the coup De Grace to his face.
Removing both blades the two leaders stared at each other for moment, and the Cao Cao commenced the hostilities by throwing the gladius of the soldier who he just killed at Caesar. The veteran general narrowly dodged this, falling to the floor and dropping his gladius , but the blade hadn’t been intended to kill, merely to distract. Cao Cao closed the gap and aimed his Jian straight for the heart of his downed enemy, but Caesar knocked it aside with his pugio. Caesar then used his gladius to slash at Cao Cao’s arm, wounding him and causing his enemy to snarl. He then punched Caesar in the face and attempted to run for his Jian but Caesar tripped him, an act which earned him a kick in the face. Spitting out a tooth, Caesar then stabbed the offending member with his pugio, an act that earned another snarl from Cao Cao. Kicking sand in Caesar’s face and kicking him again, Cao Cao limped to his Jian successfully reaching just as Caesar recovered and picked up his Gladius. The two men then dueled as the battle raged around them, many on both sides having already fallen at this point.
For a while neither side could find any sort of opening, both men were simply to skilled. Finally Caesar found an opening and stabbed Cao Cao’s sword arm, forcing him to drop it . With a roar of rage Cao Cao grabbed the Hand holding the gladius with his other hand and twisted, breaking it and forcing Caesar to the ground. Cao Cao then kicked him backward to the ground and pulled out his dagger-right as Caesar unsheathes a second pugio. Cao Cao pulled back, not wanting to die by a rash action.
Caesar got back up and the dueling resumed. Caesar tried to stab his blade into the groin of his enemy, only for Cao Cao to parry his blade in the nic of time. The Han general then punched Caesar with his slightly limp sword arm. Wanting to finish this fight now, Caesar tackled Cao Cao, and they both fell to the floor. Caesar, while still laying on top of Cao Cao , aimed the finishing blow with his pugio at the Han general’s neck. The said Chinaman managed to grab the hand that held the blade mid flight, and the two men engaged in an epic life or death contest of strength. Suddenly to the surprise of Caesar Cao Cao let go sending the pugio going straight down into- the sand? Cao Cao seized this moment of distraction to drive his own dagger home into the Roman’s neck.
For what seemed to be an eternity the two most powerful men of their prospective cultures stared at each other, neither willing to blink first. Caesar won that contest; with life leaving him continued the stare, until his eyes would never blink again. Even in death Caesar had to send a statement.
Picking himself up Cao Cao saw to his delight that the trapped Romans were being crushed between his heavy Calvary and remaining infantry. A hard fought victory and a costly one to boot , but one that may also bear future rewards. Notably the now leaderless and divided land of his fallen foe, which would be ripe for the taking. With thought of eternal glory for himself, his culture and kingdom, Cao Cao went off to conduct the rest of his army.
Conclusion: This was a very close, but in the end Han victory. Though the Romans had the clear advantage at close quarter combat and defense, they couldn’t compare to the long range arsenal that Cao Cao brought to this fight. In addition those heavy Calvary were quite capable of tearing through Roman lines. In the colossal battle between two world dominating superpowers, Han achieved ultimate victory.
Dead Space Necromorphs vs. The Fellowship of the Rings
Aragorn pressed home his advantage, thrusting Andruril deep into the Twitcher before knocking off balance again. A horizontal strike was only just blocked by the Necromroph, however the following bash by the ranger was not, and he was knocked back.
About to press forward to his victory, Aragorn suddenly felt almost blinding pain in his calf. The Stalker whose legs he had taken out, that he was reasonably sure he killed had followed him and was now tearing deep into him with his claws. Angered at the interruption and his own carelessness in double checking he decapitated the Stalker whose head fell to the floor-followed swiftly by Aragorn’s hands! The Twitcher, taking advantage of the distraction, had used it's blinding fast speed to slash through a place that Aragorn was not armored; his hands. Screaming in pain, he glanced upwards at his executioner, who then after holding his stare for a couple of seconds raised his right blade-arm, and with a single swing beheaded the noble would-be king. The line of Isildur had come to an end.
Gazing blankly into space for a couple seconds; the Twitcher then skitters off out of view, into the forest ……….
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Necromorphs:
Necromorphs Win!!!
Epilogue:
Soon after small towns on the edges of Gondor and Rohan began falling almost overnight. Most assumed that they fell to the depredations of Orcs or Uruks, but the few frightened survivors insisted that it had been something else, something much scarier.
They were first noticed by the World at large at Helm’s Deep, towards the end of the battle. The remaining Rohirrim, led by Lady Eowyn after King Théoden’s death, were trapped inside the glittering caves by victorious hordes of Isengrad who were already pounding their way in. Suddenly the Uruks speech had changed from triumphant gloats to scared screams and frantic cries. A great battle was occurring outside, and the Rohirrim host’s spirits skyrocketed. Eomer had returned to save his people! Lady Eowyn ordered a sally, and they managed to push the Uruks from the citadel without a fight-mainly because the uruks were too busy fleeing. The Helms Deep Rohirrim ran out of the fort to thank their countrymen for the heroic rescue, with Eowyn personally running up to the man that bore her brother’s armor and mane of hair, only to realize too late that something was different about him….
Isengard soon fell as the now Necromorph version of the ents extracted the revenge that their living versions had only dreamed of. The Infection spread northward and southward. In the North the Necromorph infection soon “converted “the giant spiders of Mirkwood, followed by the elf kingdom of Thranduil. They then fell upon Dale, and when it's residents sought the protection of the Dwarves of Erebor a great battle commenced after which the Necromorphs hunted the Dwarves down in their own halls. In the Northern wastelands the dragons took to the skies, only to find themselves followed by infected eagles.
Down south total dominion was achieved at the battle of Pellanor fields where both the Mordor forces and the Gondor one were wiped out after a five day battle. Thus ended the last kingdom of Man, and into the power vacuum the infection fell on the various unprotected towns in Gondor’s domain. Sauron shut off Mordor to the world, which meant that the infection spread around him, now heading eastwards and westwards. The distant Eastern lands which gave Sauron his Mumakill were brought under the Marker’s domination soon after the infection of those great beasts. In the West the shire was utterly destroyed, and the Lothlorien soon followed. Rivendell, which had always been a great citadel for the Free People’s in a time of need, was the site of the Free People’s last stand, the siege lasting for a whopping month before Elrond and his retinue were finally brought down. Now Mordor was all that remains, and even though Sauron had built a massive line of defenses they couldn’t stand being attacked from so many directions at once. Balrogs and nameless things dug great tunnels into the Black land, the infected Shelob led her brood from the tunnels, Great Mumakill bashed down the black gate, and Dragons descended from the sky onto the realm of the dark lord. Thus fell Sauron.
All of this was relayed to Manwe and the Valar by Cirdan, who had managed to get out one last ship before his beloved ports were overwhelmed. As they were preparing for a military mission to cleanse Middle Earth, Finarfin, brother of the two greatest elves in history, rushed in to tell them that strange creatures had emerged from the sea and were attacking everything. The infection had arrived to Heaven.
In the end one of the greatest set of monsters ever to grace our consoles barely managed to overcome the stars of the Lord of the Rings. The pure variety of the Necromorph horde, a group that includes suicide bombers, massive tanks, unkillable fighters and undead velociraptors soared team Dead Space to victory. With this victory Middle Earth has now fallen to a most horrible infection. I guess this matchup goes to show the difficulty of stopping a horrifying disease that actively wants to spread.
I would love to see Alexander the Great vs. Julius Caesar one day
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